A Blunt Q&A on POTS

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Q: Any advice on traveling with POTS?

A: Fucking don’t. You will just wish you were dead.

Q: What does a tilt table test really reveal?

A: Whether or not you can be an astronaut. Spoiler alert: you can’t.

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Q: But oh Wild Divine–wherever did my POTS come from?

A: It really doesn’t matter. Like REALLY it does not matter.

Q: My doctor doesn’t “believe” I have POTS. What can I do to convince him?

A: Didn’t your momma ever tell you not to chase after boys who don’t want you? Go find someone else who will treat you like a human being.

Q: Should I get a medical alert bracelet for my POTS?

A: Do you pass out in public often enough to warrant an explanation? If so, yes.

Q: I’m worried people will look at me funny if I park handicapped, but have no visual disability.

A: Will you be less worried if you crack your head open on the sidewalk?

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Q: What should I do about blood pooling?

A: Stand less. Buy a handbell for more efficient service.

Q: What should be done in the ER for POTS?

A: Replace fluids. Exit stage left before they try to give you an unnecessary catscan.

Q: How should I explain what POTS feels like to other people?

A: On a good day? Imagine drinking four cups of coffee while continuously driving your car around a roundabout. On a bad day: Imagine you’re on a boat in the middle of a hurricane. Someone is holding you upside down and force-feeding you crystal meth. Or maybe just tell them it’s like fibromyalgia. People don’t like long descriptions.

 

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