Bear Post #1: The Bear Diaries

(R.J made me post this..for Happy. He thinks Happy’s life is more exciting than mine and he’s probably right.)

bear

Mommy gave me wet food this morning! Only, I suspect it was under the guise of giving me some kind of round, brown pill. It’s hard to tell because I inhaled it and most of it went up my snout and Mommy had to chase after me with a paper towel to blow my nose.

Then later, we went for a car ride. We always go for a car ride on Friday, so I was cool. I was being cool, you know? I wasn’t getting excited. But then as soon as she pulled away from the house I kind of puked all over the car.

Post puke-a-thon. Mommy laid down paper towels everywhere.

Post puke-a-thon. Mommy laid down paper towels everywhere.

Mommy was really cool about it and pulled over on the side of the road so we could go for a walk and she could Purell her car. Mommy is so great.

Then I went to Grandma’s house and I immediately went outside to run in the dirt, because I don’t get enough dirt at Mommy’s apartment.

When Mommy left for her meeting, I could tell something was up. Grandma kept saying, “Oh Happy–you’re going to be so excited.” And I just had a feeling, you know?

AND THEN OH MY GOD, TIGER CAME OVER.

Sometimes I wear Tiger's underwear. Whateves. We're BFF's.

Sometimes I wear Tiger’s underwear. Whateves. We’re BFF’s.

TIGER IS MY BEST FRIEND AND I THINK WE MIGHT ACTUALLY BE RELATED AND BE BROTHERS.

TIGER LOVES TO CHASE ME AND HE LOVES WHEN I BARK AS LOUD AS I POSSIBLY CAN. THAT’S TOTALLY TIGER’S THING. TIGER IS SO COOL. I follow Tiger everywhere.

When Mommy came to pick me up the next day I was a comatose poodle because I’d played chase and then I’d played soccer and then I’d scarfed down all my water and threw it up outside. I ate some grass.

Poodle_noodle

Then today, my Daddy took me for a walk. It wasn’t a normal walk. We walked way further than Mommy ever walks me. Mommy always gets tired and says things like, “Okay–time to turn around,” and “okay–you can’t possibly have any more pee in you,” and “WHY WOULD YOU ROLL IN THAT, WHY?”

But Daddy walked right past the big palm trees, and then OVER THE BRIDGE, and I was like–there are trees here that I’ve never even pee’d on. Never.

When we got back to the house Mommy was half-asleep on the couch because she came home with ten shopping bags (again.)

Then…Daddy gave me a bath.

I don’t know how I’ll ever trust him again.

I’m going to go sit in the corner with eight tennis balls and really think about the trust issues in our relationships.

 

 

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