Chronic Illness and The Zombie Apocalypse: You’re Going to Die…First.

Each time I sit down to watch The Walking Dead on AMC, it saddens me to know that in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse, I’m going to die first.

It’s just a fact, and except for some residual grief over who will dress my poodle in his warmest coat on cold winter days and throw his tennis ball for the 9,5675th time—I’ve pretty much come to terms with it.

See, this is how it will play out: let’s say it’s a virus that sets off the whole “let’s eat each other’s brains” thing. Being immunodeficient, it’s going to be pretty darn hard for me to ward off that flu. Between going to doctors and the hospital, those cryptic little germs will be festering everywhere.

And let’s just say, for whatever awesome reason, I survive the beginning phase of the whole apocalypse and I actually end up living long enough to see the majority of the population turn into a sleep-walking herd of the undead. What am I supposed to do then? Run with this terrible joint pain in my knees? Stab forward into the dense skulls of our enemies with no upper-arm strength? I mean, I’m just going to slow R.J down.

Don’t worry. We’ve already had the conversation about it. We both know that in the event of the world ending, he needs to go on without me. He’s strong and capable, and he can protect Happy-Bear from the flesh-munching, guts-oozing corpses. He could forage for food and supplies and eventually put together a rag-tag gang of survivors including an ER doctor and Dwight Schrute from The Office.

People all over the world have a lot to fear from the Walking Dead, but in reality, none more so than those with chronic illness. Fibromyalgia? Dead. Lupus? Dead. Heart Conditions? You’re going to die.

But take comfort in the fact that it’s probably better this way. I mean, imagine it. You’ve run out of medication, your pharmacist isn’t calling you back, your concierge doctor tries to eat your arm after putting an IV in it….It’s just not a world that’s meant for our kind.

In an era where bloody entrails line the streets, already mad with chaos—where infection ravages every blood-lined shelf at your local Publix, there is just no room for people who need to check their blood pressure every forty-five minutes. It’s just not a good fit.

I’ve obviously put a lot of thought into how to handle this and I’ve decided that we all just need to band together on this one. Be strong. Let your healthy loved ones move forward so that they might find their way to the CDC and be cured before it’s too late! We’ll hole up in a hospital somewhere; gather hazmat suits and ventilation masks. In a world full of healthy, robust individuals gaining more tender muscle by the hour—we’re a scant meal for an aimless school of walkers.

But alas, our time will come and we too will be gobbled up like the leftover dark meat the week after Thanksgiving.

It’s time to start making plans for the end of times. Talk to your doctor today about different medications and cyanide pills for a well-planned execution.

Comments

comments

30 thoughts on “Chronic Illness and The Zombie Apocalypse: You’re Going to Die…First.

  1. Glad I’m not the only one who has these thoughts when I watch disaster/ post apocalyptic movies!

  2. […] how we’re all going to die in the zombie apocalypse? As strongly as I feel that will happen, it’s not the same for other natural […]

  3. … [Trackback]

    […] Read More here|Read More|Read More Infos here|There you will find 30932 more Infos|Informations to that Topic: letsfeelbetter.com/chronic-illness-and-the-zombie-apocalypse-youre-going-to-die-first/ […]

  4. … [Trackback]

    […] Find More on|Find More|Read More Informations here|Here you can find 55731 more Informations|Infos on that Topic: letsfeelbetter.com/chronic-illness-and-the-zombie-apocalypse-youre-going-to-die-first/ […]

  5. … [Trackback]

    […] Find More here|Find More|Read More Infos here|Here you will find 11347 more Infos|Informations to that Topic: letsfeelbetter.com/chronic-illness-and-the-zombie-apocalypse-youre-going-to-die-first/ […]

  6. … [Trackback]

    […] Read More here|Read More|Read More Informations here|Here you can find 62162 more Informations|Informations on that Topic: letsfeelbetter.com/chronic-illness-and-the-zombie-apocalypse-youre-going-to-die-first/ […]

  7. … [Trackback]

    […] Find More here|Find More|Read More Infos here|Here you can find 67773 more Infos|Informations on that Topic: letsfeelbetter.com/chronic-illness-and-the-zombie-apocalypse-youre-going-to-die-first/ […]

  8. … [Trackback]

    […] Read More on|Read More|Find More Informations here|Here you will find 15288 additional Informations|Informations to that Topic: letsfeelbetter.com/chronic-illness-and-the-zombie-apocalypse-youre-going-to-die-first/ […]

  9. … [Trackback]

    […] Find More on|Find More|Read More Informations here|There you can find 21323 more Informations|Informations to that Topic: letsfeelbetter.com/chronic-illness-and-the-zombie-apocalypse-youre-going-to-die-first/ […]

  10. … [Trackback]

    […] Read More here|Read More|Find More Infos here|Here you will find 88659 additional Infos|Informations on that Topic: letsfeelbetter.com/chronic-illness-and-the-zombie-apocalypse-youre-going-to-die-first/ […]

  11. … [Trackback]

    […] Read More here|Read More|Read More Informations here|There you will find 59659 additional Informations|Informations on that Topic: letsfeelbetter.com/chronic-illness-and-the-zombie-apocalypse-youre-going-to-die-first/ […]

  12. … [Trackback]

    […] Read More on|Read More|Read More Informations here|There you can find 73521 additional Informations|Infos on that Topic: letsfeelbetter.com/chronic-illness-and-the-zombie-apocalypse-youre-going-to-die-first/ […]

  13. … [Trackback]

    […] Find More here|Find More|Find More Informations here|Here you can find 6523 more Informations|Infos to that Topic: letsfeelbetter.com/chronic-illness-and-the-zombie-apocalypse-youre-going-to-die-first/ […]

  14. … [Trackback]

    […] Read More here|Read More|Find More Infos here|Here you can find 32817 additional Infos|Informations to that Topic: letsfeelbetter.com/chronic-illness-and-the-zombie-apocalypse-youre-going-to-die-first/ […]

  15. … [Trackback]

    […] Read More here|Read More|Read More Infos here|Here you will find 92357 more Infos|Infos on that Topic: letsfeelbetter.com/chronic-illness-and-the-zombie-apocalypse-youre-going-to-die-first/ […]

  16. … [Trackback]

    […] Find More here|Find More|Read More Infos here|Here you will find 32218 additional Infos|Infos to that Topic: letsfeelbetter.com/chronic-illness-and-the-zombie-apocalypse-youre-going-to-die-first/ […]

  17. … [Trackback]

    […] Read More here|Read More|Read More Informations here|Here you will find 53596 additional Informations|Infos on that Topic: letsfeelbetter.com/chronic-illness-and-the-zombie-apocalypse-youre-going-to-die-first/ […]

  18. … [Trackback]

    […] Read More on|Read More|Find More Informations here|There you can find 60362 additional Informations|Infos on that Topic: letsfeelbetter.com/chronic-illness-and-the-zombie-apocalypse-youre-going-to-die-first/ […]

  19. … [Trackback]

    […] Find More here|Find More|Find More Informations here|Here you can find 43287 more Informations|Informations to that Topic: letsfeelbetter.com/chronic-illness-and-the-zombie-apocalypse-youre-going-to-die-first/ […]

  20. It sure took a lot of research to make an article like this.

  21. I’ve never ever read anything better!

  22. Can whales get fleas?

  23. I’m not a big fan of sauce.

  24. Don’t ever quit blogging!

  25. Where do you buy all your hardware?

  26. Don’t forget the grilled onions!

  27. Way to go Edward. This blog is amazing!

  28. No one can ever say this site is boring!

  29. Would you like some popcorn?

  30. These two are some real messy eaters!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes:

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>