Do Not Faint in The Discount Grocery Store

There’s a first time for everything…and today it was a Kidney Infection.

Now I’ve mastered some pretty heroic feats despite my illness. I’ve gone through four years of high school with chronic fatigue. I’ve sat through business meetings while dry heaving into my handbag. I’ve walked up and down my spiral staircase with vertigo on more occasions than I can count.

So why is it that of all things, a kidney infection, is what defeats me at the grocery store?

It started on Saturday night, I’d had a sinus infection put me on antibiotics, which lead to another infection, which lead to a pain in my back that went on and on for hours. I finally took a Percocet and just knocked myself out. But in the morning I was still aching and with a guess from my doctor, I started taking a dose of Bactrim on Saturday morning. R.J and I had brunch at his mom’s house, and then my plan was to go home—sleep for a few hours—and fill our sad, empty fridge.

I made R.J promise to wake me up by four, because the sun has been going down early here and  I didn’t want to drive in the dark. I thought taking a nap for a few hours would reenergize me, but when I woke up I was just as groggy and disoriented as before. Doesn’t matter, needed groceries.

So I got in my car and ventured out to Aldi’s (which is like ghetto Publix, where you would buy all your pantry staples, but you wouldn’t buy meat…or produce.)

Sometimes it’s a great place to shop, but they have a few unorthodox practices—like in order to take a cart you have to pay for it with a quarter (you get the quarter back when you’re done, but this is to make sure they don’t have to hire someone to collect carts.)

Only problem with that was that it was another second I had to waste energy on.

It seemed like just the act of standing up was enough to challenge the pain in my back and abdomen and the more I walked, the more breathing seemed to hurt.

But I needed bread…and apple pie filling.

So I soldiered on.

I got through two more aisles before my vision started to get hazy.

Oh crap, I thought, is this the moment of ultimate humiliation? Am I going to faint at a discount grocery store?

My heart started to race and to make it all the more flattering—I started sweating through my clothes.

I’m going to be that girl who totally has an episode in the bakery aisle. I should leave now, before I get any more fatigued.

But I already had items in my cart, and I wasn’t just going to abandon it.

Besides, I was going to bake a pie later. I needed pie crusts, where were the damn pie crusts? I hadn’t even found anything for dinner!

My back was throbbing at this point, and I’d only really grabbed half of what I needed before finally relenting and heading to the check out. I leaned against my cart after I loaded up the belt with my measly three cans of fruit, Danish, and disappointment.

Pie crusts…you eluded me this time….

And with a heavy heart and a light bag, I headed home, dripping in sweat and burning with the sting of defeat.

We had takeout.

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2 thoughts on “Do Not Faint in The Discount Grocery Store

  1. […] also had those random almost nonchalant moments at the grocery store (like in this post) where I’m like, sure, it’s probably just a kidney infection—but if I drop dead in the […]

  2. […] would never have put a bra on and got out of bed if this was the day I knew I was about to have. It was kind of like that time I almost passed out from a kidney infection in a discount grocery store. Or […]

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