The first time I thought about actively having faith was after my second car accident. It started the day after the accident when I realized my car had been towed and I needed to pick it up from the impound lot. I knew it was going to cost money, and I knew my bank account was seriously weak that month because I’d been too sick to work. But for whatever reason, I took a leap of faith, a deep breath, and handed over my AMEX.
It will be okay, I thought. I know I’ll get that money back.
Just a day or two later I got a call from my insurance company saying they were going to be issuing me a rental car to help me get around while my Camry was in the shop. A rental car? I thought, since when does my cheap insurance cover a free rental car?
But it did, so I picked up a brand new Ford Focus and drove it around for two weeks. And when my car was deemed beyond reasonable repair by the autoshop? Guess who just so happened to need to leave her car at our parents while she jetted off to Boston for a show? Why my lovely sister…who for Hannukah this year….just so happens to be getting a new car. And what oh what will we do with hers now?
I think that’s a pretty clear statement of fact: there’s something right about the universe.
I wish I could put the puzzle pieces of my life together easily enough to just say:
Car crash = New car!
Crashed Immune System = Brand New Functioning Immune System!
But I don’t think my insurance covers that, so I need to back up and start manifesting some new options, opening up myself to new ideas, and not letting myself slip under the wave of depression that kind of feels like it’s slapping me in the face throughout the days.
So this is what I know
Everything Happens for A Reason: I don’t think anyone who writes about their life on a daily basis can go without really believing that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes it’s as easy as thinking: a bad thing happened—and so I’m going to write a great blog about it. I know it’s all just part of the story.
You are Already Happy: I’m a worrier. It’s in my nature—I worry about things. My mom has me on this Abraham Hicks kick listening to the videos and they actually really resonate with me. I like the idea that everything we want, we already have. The key is only to be happy until we get it—which we will, because really—we already do. Like—I am going to be healthy. I want to be healthy, so I know one day I will be healthy. So I shouldn’t worry in the meantime about being sick—because I already know that I’ll get there when I’m ready.
This Too Shall Pass: This is how I handle pain—even and particularly when it lasts for weeks at a time without letting up.
I mean all we’re talking about here is a rare disease. It’s not like I have a failed reality show on the Style Network. Breathe deep.
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