I Don’t Want to Sleep Anymore.

I AM LIVING IN A WORLD OF PERPETUAL MOTION SICKNESS.

I AM LIVING IN A WORLD OF PERPETUAL MOTION SICKNESS.

It’s 3:45 in the morning, I can’t sleep. I’m so overwhelmed by how bad the fatigue is during the day that for the past week I’ve generally only been awake for 2-3 hours at a time. Then at night I’m so tired I fall into a really deep sleep–that ends around this time and then I just toss and turn for the next four hours until I have to wake up again. But frankly–none of this sleep, the deep-sleep, the not-so-deep sleep, the I-must-sleep-right-now-or-risk-spending-the-next-hour-dizzy-and-dry-heaving-sleep–none of it is actually restorative sleep. It’s all just shitty periods of unconsciousness in wait for the next shitty period of unconsciousness.

I’m so pissed off that I couldn’t get in to see a sleep specialist like a month ago. Now I feel like the issue has gotten so out of hand I can’t wrap my mind around how I’m going to get it corrected.

To top it off I’m completely covered in mosquito bites and every bug spray smells so toxic to me that I think it drives me even crazier than the itching.

Can you tell that I’m a little close to the end of my rope?

 

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