I’d Like To Write a Book (And I Have No Ulterior Motive In Writing This Post. You’re Just Being Paranoid.)

You’re always a writer. And one day you look around and you think, “You know? I’m writing someone else’s story, someone else’s book, someone else’s blog, and the back of every damn shampoo bottle in CVS. Why am I not writing my own memoir?”

Even though Lets Feel Better has been a great outlet for me, I’ve really always wanted to publish a book. Which is funny, because I already have written a book—fiction, non-fiction, technical books, and I’m even working on a medical one right now.

But a book about me? About life and all my mishaps with POTS and PIDD and Happy and Mom and R.J and the mournful scream of disappointment I let out when I learned Marie Claire was sending me out a check for my kill Fee? About high school and college and making friends when most of your socializing is done in the ER? About empowerment, and family and learning to accept the harder things in life like your cat-scan results and your jean size? Where would I even begin?

But I’ve been playing around with the idea for a few weeks now.

When I’m on the treadmill in the gym I get some really great ideas for titles, and that gets me really inspired. But of course–I always think I have great ideas on the treadmill and then I get off and make a peach-yogurt-peanut butter smoothie and have to dump it all down my garbage disposal while admitting to my poodle that, no, that was not the best idea I’ve ever had.

I think I’d like to write a book on chronic illness and how to work your life in around it, but I’d also like it to be autobiographical. I’d want it to be funny, sad and smart and useful.

Mostly, I’d just like it to come as easily to me as it does when I’m writing an entry here, every day.

Mostly, I’d like someone to tie me to a desk chair until I can plot it out in a compelling, comedic, ingenious fashion that will have Harper Collins and Simon and Schuster and Penguin Putnam, Random House and Scholastic knocking down my door with contracts.

(Pay no attention to the use of keywords and SEO voo-doo happening here.)

(Seriously, that was completely unintentional.)

(I just meant to say “major book publishers.”)

If I wanted to get specific and illogical I’d go ahead and list the names of some literary agents who I’d like to shake hands with—after all, I was a young adult book reviewer for several years before I picked up journalism/magazine writing….You know, agents like Laura Dail, Adam Schear, Barry Goldblatt, Andrea Brown, Laura Rennert, Caryn Wiseman, Jennifer Rofe, etc…

But you know, I wouldn’t want to get specific or illogical.

I just want to write a book.

Just thought it was something I should mention.