It’s My Life. I Can Sulk About it for a Post.

Never in our Favor

It hasn’t been the greatest week for me. I was only able to start antibiotics last night and my tachycardia has been just completely out of control since I got sick. I feel like I can’t walk from the bedroom to the bathroom without blacking out, which means that I spent most of the last few days at my mom’s house while R.J’s been at work. During the day I’m sleeping about 4-5 hours and then catching up on my work at night.

On Monday night I asked R.J to go with me to Office Max so I could print out some brochures for work. I was able to sit down while I was talking to the printing tech, but I could feel myself getting more and more nauseated the longer I was sitting up-right. We finally left, brochures in hand and stopped on the way home to get Chipotle (for R.J, the taco still isn’t worth the heartache for me.)  And I stayed in the car, elevating my legs trying to get the blood in my body to level out. And I was just…pissed.


This was my whole day. Office Max and the parking lot outside Chipotle.

It used all of my energy to watch somebody else print brochures and stare at a handicap sign for seven minutes while R.J got a burrito bowl.

On days like this, my world just seems so small.

It seems like just to highlight just how little energy I have lately, R.J has been working non-top. Literally–late at night, on the weekends, earlier in the mornings. And that’s great and all but he’s so worn out from work when he gets home that he immediately wants to hop on the computer and play games.

And I’m okay with that, I actually don’t have anything against him playing video games because I know they help unwind his brain–but between the long hours at work, the two-hour work outs at the gym and the not-coming-up-for-air in between takes of DOTA–I’m kind of missing seeing his face.

And of course, getting his help with the house.

Because did I mention that our housekeeper quit on us last week? Meaning that during this period of exceptional fatigue and illness–I’m also trying to mop floors and scrub showers. Super-crazy awesome for the tachycardia.

I feel like I might need to explain myself on this one, because a housekeeper is a bit of a luxury for a twenty-something, but I have no energy. If I tried to keep this house uncontaminated all alone, they’d take away my poodle for bear abuse. So we have had help. Thankfully our apartment is small enough that getting some outside help doesn’t totally break the bank.

I had a housekeeper coming today for an interview and she didn’t speak one word of English (that’s not what I’m judging) what I am judging is the fact that she knows I only speak English and she was having a long-winded rant to me about trying to find my house in Spanish. When I asked her if she could mapquest it she asked me if I was by the grocery store. I said I was. And she’s like, “Why not you meet at Grocery store and you drive me show back to your house?”

Because that’s what I want to use my spoons on today. Driving to the grocery store because you can’t follow simple directions.

When I said I wouldn’t be able to do that she asked if I could wait outside my apartment and flag her in. Even though It was 100 degrees out and I was intermittently blacking out–I was like, sure–that’s reasonable!

BITCH HAD ME WAITING TWENTY MINUTES WHILE SHE WAS INSIDE THE NEIGHBORHOOD. The whole time I’m calling her cell phone which she refuses to pick up and I’m like…well, fuck you. I’m going inside.


She finally made it, we could not communicate whatsoever, I showed her the house and the areas she’d need to clean and asked her for a price which ended up being even more highly priced than our previous overly high-priced maid.

What would you tag this frustration? #whitepeopleproblems #TearsOfJAPs?

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I also just drove for the first time this week, down the street to Fedex to mail off a contract I should have mailed off on Monday–had I been able to drive.

Got there. Envelope was missing the account number. Couldn’t reach the editor to get (it was after five.) That was all the spoons I had for today, wasted.

Ok–so just to recap my tantrum: I’m sad about not having any energy, that I lost my housekeeper and interviewed a totally inept one, I used all of my spoons today to mail something which I then could not mail.

Yeah, that’s right up there with world hunger.