New Study Conducted at Macy’s During a Sale Proves I Can Shop With a Migraine

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My mom and I went to Macy’s last night so she could look for a dress to wear to the Global Genes Gala–which I’m not attending, but maybe next year! Even though my days lately have ended at about 6:00PM because that’s about as long as I can take the migraine pain for without having to pop a painkiller–we went anyways and I got through WATCHING her try on (not even actually moving to try on) like six dresses before I was like….something is going to happen here.

Here are the things that might happen here:

  • I’m going to need to immediately fall asleep
  • If I don’t fall asleep, I’m going to immediately get nauseated
  • If I don’t control the nausea, I’m going to immediately feel numb
  • If I feel numb it’s very likely that I was start to black out and not be able walk back to the car.
  • No matter what happens-if none of these things happen, the pain from the migraine is going to be there. And it’s going to SUCK.
My mom didn't think this dress was "the one" but I loved it!

My mom didn’t think this dress was “the one” but I loved it!

So she found a dress and quickly purchased it–but this sale–oh what a sale. We passed by some racks of 50% off stuff and I was like–No, Mom. I can do this. I can get through this migraine. We can shop this sale.

So we filled our arms with clothes and I stabilized myself by holding onto the racks with one hand and sifting through FreePeople maxi-dresses with the other. I was holding back the dry heaves. I was powering through it.

When my vision started popping in and out I was like..Okay. Maybe it’s time to try these ¬†things on. So we went into a dressing room where I immediately took off my pants, put on a navy skirt and sat down in the pile of clothes, panting like I’d just run a marathon.

If I had to guess the number of times I’ve been 94% sure I would need to call paramedics to lift me up off a dressing room floor…it would be more than the number of times I’ve brought home jeans that I thought fit perfectly and then, you know, sagged when I got them home.

I admit it. I borrow spoons for shopping. I take them from the day before, the day after. The whole day. Whatever. Shopping is important. It’s good exercise. It gives me a feeling of normalcy in an otherwise very abnormal life. I know what I’m doing when I’m shopping. I have, at the current count, 26 black tank-top style tops because I know that’s what I look good in. And I have never paid more than $8 for a pair of leggings.

Shopping perseverance is the kind of perseverance I channel to get me out of the car aftefittingr grocery shopping. It’s the kind of blind ambition one calls upon when they know they can’t hold it for another fifteen seconds but they can’t leave until their date finishes his (terrible) joke.

My body may be broken. But my spirit is strong and my credit card is handy.

Other news?

A new work project is taking up a lot of my time. That’s pretty much the only explanation I have for not blogging as much this past week as I usually do. And I can’t even add any more explanation to that. So. Hang in there.

But there are few situations I can give updates on:

Migraines and Botox

So it wasn’t a sinus infection. My teeth are fine. But my migraines have still been crazy and daily. So my ENT sent me off to a neurologist who specializes in the Botox treatment for migraines. I got evaluated and he thought I’d be a good candidate. Two things have to happen before I can get the treatment though: the first is that the insurance needs to approve it–which I don’t think will be a problem since they’ve approved a lot of weird shit for me before. The second is that I need to get an allergy test to see if I’m allergic to Botox–since my mom got tested for it–and she is. Unfortunately the neurologist doesn’t do the allergy testing. And the med-spas don’t do the allergy testing. I THINK my ENT will do the testing for me, but won’t know until after the long weekend. Also, why do I always forget to refill my prescriptions when it’s a long weekend?

R.J Made Me a Grilled 7 Cheese and Bacon Sandwich Because He Doesn’t Understand What a Diet is and That I’m On One.

photo 2-5 copy

It was insane in the best way. Now I’m eating nothing but zucchini and arugala to make up for it.

My Yard(like) Area Died

photo 3-10So remember when I spent the weekend beautifying my itsy bitsy little patch of land behind my apartment to make a little area for Happy? Yeah. Well. Everything died. I have a few guesses as to why but the fact is I’m going to be re-doing the whole thing this weekend. The dream is alive and well. My grass, not so much.

I’m On a Diet

 

photo 3-10 copy

Because all I do is sit in my kitchen/living room and eat. Everything. Like really. EVERYTHING. So ¬†because I have no control I decided to fill my home with food that can be eaten all day without me being on a 5,000 calorie a day diet. And before you jump on me that the cheese, meat, and yogurt is mostly for R.J. The Milkbones are Happy’s. All my produce was (unfortunately) on the bottom of the cart. Because I’m 24 and I know how to fill a shopping cart.

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