New Year Resolutions: 2014

I totally believe in being fancy on New Years. That's why Happy is wearing a bow-tie.

I totally believe in being fancy on New Years. That’s why Happy is wearing a bow-tie.

Happy New Years! (A day or two late) You know how I love NYE right? I’m a huge fan of resolutions (see last year’s post) and I take them super seriously. I even make a big poster out of them and hang them on my wall so I have to feel guilty about them every time I sit down to straightener my hair. Commitment, people. Is it in you?

1. Read at Least One New Book a Month

Do ones I wrote myself not count?

Do ones I wrote myself not count?

I used to be a book reviewer in high school–meaning I’d read at least one new book a week. That’s four books a month. And that was when I had eight classes. Now I just feel lazy as shit. I started reading this gem on New Years Eve before everyone showed up to our party. (The Maze Runner)

2. Take Better Care of my Shit

I even scraped all the teflon off my frying pans.

I even scraped all the teflon off my frying pans.

I basically lucked out last year when my sister couldn’t secure the paperwork to take my mom’s old car–meaning I inherited it! It’s a good car, one that should last me a few years if I take care of it. But so far I’ve had like…one oil change. So I’m committed to making sure I take care of it so it lasts longer—car washes, oil changes, new wipers, etc. Oh, and I’ve also been promising R.J that i’m going to get my ring sized since he put it on my finger 9 months ago and I still haven’t. I suck. I take good care of my blender though, does that count?

3. Go Back to Cardiac Rehab and Get Strong

Because this was my face this Christmas trying to open up all my presents.

Because this was my face this Christmas trying to open up all my presents.

It’s been a few months since I hit the gym. It’s been a few months since my lopressor stopped working. But I’ve pretty much given up to the idea that my lopressor –that any of my heart medications are going to massively improve my condition to the point where I will pop out of bed one morning and decide to lift weights. So I’m just going to pencil it in and start going back to rehab next week. Get it done.

4. Do at Least One New Freelance Gig a Month

Ten Rules

 

Cosmo. Marie Claire. Glamour. Huffington Post. Health. Women’s Health. Women’s Day. Pain Pathways. Neurology Now. Boca Raton Magazine. Boca Raton Observer. You know.

5. PITCH ALL THE AGENTS

pitc

 

You’ve all committed to pre-ordering at least six copies of my book, right?

6. Take Better Care of my Appearance

giphy (1)

Which is just resolution speak to encourage myself to get my hair cut more than twice a year and not buy exclusively off the clearance rack at Ross.

7. Build Up My Savings

What you think Facebook advertising is CHEAP? Yeah. Well. It's not.

What you think Facebook advertising is CHEAP? Yeah. Well. It’s not.

Meanwhile my portrait should be on a wall somewhere at Boca Raton Regional Hospital.

8. Have Hope.

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You know, remember that I’m not the only person with a rare disease. That mine is a lot easier to manage than others. That there are a thousand studies happening right now to try and find a cure for this–and that I’m pushy enough to actually make the world spin faster on it’s axis.

9. Stay Classy

At least I wasn't twerking.

At least I wasn’t twerking.

This one is in honor of my friend Hanna, who made this her resolution right before jetting off to a study abroad program in the UK where she learned how to drink like an Irishman. Subsequently, I too would like to spend a few moments this year over-inebriated with my pinky in the air.

What’s your NYE Resolutions, ya’ll?

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