Oh The Humanity: Blood and Scopes and Summer

There’s nothing like getting a metal rod shoved up your nose first thing in the morning. But that’s what I was doing on Wednesday morning, at my ENT’s office feeling both relief from the numbing spray coating my sore throat and that slight terror you get that a q-tip is going to ram into your brain during a swab.

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“We’ll send it in, but your ear canal is swollen and your sinuses look very raw. You should probably start the antibiotics right away,” the doctor told me. “And stay out of the sun, this antibiotic can make you very sensitive to the heat.”

So I left the office with drops for an ear infection, and a nasal spray and script for Bactrim for the sinus infection. Got into my car and sat back in the warm Florida sunshine, feeling like I’d left all of my energy back in the exam room.

Even though I’ve had a nice long stretch in between the last time I had to be on antibiotics, I still felt defeated. My disease cycles in and out of systems. It hits my stomach, then my heart, then my immune system–but there’s never really a quiet moment and when the new wave of shit comes you feel tired before it’s even really started.

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Then today I went to take Happy out for his afternoon walk. He took longer than usual which meant I was out in the open sun in 95 degree, 80% humidity weather. Within five minutes I was burnt. Within ten my vision was swimming and I started blacking out. Got back into the house and tried to cool off, but the damage was already done.

My last IV on Tuesday was a failure because I’d forgotten to put pressure on the vein after they took out the line. I went to go pee on my way out of the doctor’s office and saw I was bleeding through the bandaid–literally just tapped it with my finger and blood shot out of my arm like a gyser, drenching me and the whole bathroom floor. I also had my pants down at the time….

Had I been in a better state of minute I would have just used the copious amounts of blood to write messages on the mirror..but you know, I was feeling down.

Had I been in a better state of minute I would have just used the copious amounts of blood to write messages on the mirror..but you know, I was feeling down.

Anyways–losing that amount of blood after sitting for an hour and a half getting an IV was a legitimate waste of time and saline. So when the sun hit me today I pretty much knew I was going to have to get a refill.

Even though I could have gone to my regular doctor, I just had R.J take me to the urgent clinic across the street since it was closer and I was melting.

Sometimes getting an IV when you’re really, really dehydrated feels like when you eat a full meal after you’ve been hungry for a while. And in the same fashion, you immediately want to take a nap. So I went home, washed my hair, and slept for three hours.

The only disney princess who feels me.

The only disney princess who feels me.

I don’t know. Maybe I just won’t go outside again in the daylight until October.

So. Yeah. Feeling pretty defeated by my sinus infection, ear infection, my own stupidity, the sun, BLUE SKIES, THE WORLD, HUMANITY.

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There’s also about ten things bothering me right now that include but are not limited to: the fear of flying issue driving me crazy (and keeping me stuck in the Florida heat), mega blogger jealousy over the seemingly random nature of internet vitality, and the fact that I couldn’t get to Ross to buy sofa cushions this afternoon.

I mean really, this is some Ugandan orphan level, shit up in here.

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