That Time I Punched Myself in the IV and Made Fun of my Stoned Dog

This is an old IV picture. I didn't feel this was a snapshot moment.

This is an old IV picture. I didn’t feel this was a snapshot moment.

So yesterday I was getting my IV. I was really tired and the nurse gave me this super lush blanket because I was freezing. Before I knew it I was fast asleep in the recliner…and then something woke me up with the worst pain.

And it was my own doing.

I had–FOR WHATEVER REASON–I’m still not sure what–PUNCHED myself in the arm–more specifically in the IV –and remember, we use real needles, not catheters. I punched the needle right through the vein. CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE? The horror? The stupidity? The shame?

Well, I yelped for Dr. Santa Maria to come in and pull it out of my arm, which he quickly did.

This would have been the only time I would have let a doctor say this to me.

This would have been the only time I would have let a doctor say this to me.

I thought the worst was punching myself in the eye once while I was sleeping–nope, this was the worst abuse endured by angry, sleeping fists.

I’m never sleeping with an IV in again.

The last few days have been a bit up and down anyways. After my IV I went to see my cardiologist to see if she had any answers about how I could stabilize my blood pressure and keep myself from blacking out–even when I’m laying down.

Yeah, she didn’t have any answers.


Can I get my co-pay back?


She did however suggest I get a test for another possible rare disease, the name of which I can’t remember and probably don’t have. And she also ran my paperwork for Cardiac Rehab which I start again next Thursday.

So excited about that. I’m clearly at a dead end with my medication so I think rehab is a good next step. Plus I have a very motivational playlist on my iPhone now. Macklemore and everything.

photo 1

Happy didn’t like his IV this week either.

In other news, Happy got his teeth cleaned this week. Which made him one sad poodle. And one stoned poodle for several days afterwards.

Which allowed me to do things like this:

I'm such an asshole.

I’m such an asshole.

And I got a little hurrah! out of preventative medicine plans. Here’s a little snapshot of what I saved by having a well-pet plan at Banfield.

photo 3


Speaking of preventative medicine–hope you all can join Dr. Santa Maria and I during our first Chronic Illness Workshop on January 25th! Here’s all the info--if you’re in South Florida I would love to see your beautiful face in person–if not, you can always join us during the live webcast!