I’ve been on the immunoglobulins for just over six months now and I’ve been (for the most part) infection-free during that time. Which is great, you know, because apparently my body needed those six months to introduce me to POTS and how it was going to take over my entire life.
I’ve got a raging sinus infection. We’re treating it with an antibiotic whose name I can’t remember, but I can remember getting it in a shot, intra-muscularly the day before yesterday. I’m usually pretty good with needles, considering I’m hooked up to an IV or Sub-Q 95% of the time.
But this shot was a whole other story.
My eyes watered. It felt like I was getting an injection of fire. And my hip and leg were aching right up until yesterday afternoon.
Oh, and did I mention I’m supposed to get this shot for five days in a row?
Thankfully my doctor tried giving it to me in an IV today instead, and while that was also very painful, the pain went away quickly after he finished injecting it.
Tomorrow we’re going to try diluting it with saline.
So much to look forward to.
You know when you get to a point that you just want to find the zipper and step out of your body? Where literally everything hurts and you just feel so gross all over that you go into total zen-escape-tornado-warning mode? Where you’re like—if I don’t get one damn minute of peace from these symptoms I’m going to knock the teeth out of whoevers the next person to ask me “how are you?”
Sorry. I know I’m supposed to keep a positive attitude about this and not go into the pity party of it all. I just see this cycle start over and over this time of year and I’m dreading a repeat performance. My big hope was that the Hizentra was so massively powerful, and so unbelievably effective that I wouldn’t even get an infection to begin with.
I think I’m just tired. The last few weeks have been like this monotonous pattern sleep-medicate-sleep-eat-sleep. I’ve been making the act of being healthy such a priority and such a high goal I feel like the hoop is dangling in front of me and I’m just too short to reach it. It’s depressing, and frustrating and has resulted in me telling R.J he needs to stop leaving his socks all over the house because does he even know how much energy I lose by picking up socks!?
And so I’m trying to make a list of why things absolutely have to, without a doubt are going to, and absolutely must get better immediately:
- I’ve got a great doctor this year, and he’s on top of the problem and we’re not going to let it get any worse.
- There are plenty of plans out there, this is barely Plan A. And who’s to say this won’t work? Maybe it’s already working.
- I’m going to cardio rehab rain, shine, or sinus infection. This is the whole reason I’m doing it this way: so I can still work out and build my strength when I get knocked down.
- The Hizentra has to be making a difference; I know I’m better equipped this year to fight off infections than I was last year.
It’s a short list, but it’s a good one, right?
I’m going to call this my moment of hopelessness, let it last another twenty or so minutes, down a bottle of Powerade and sleep so I can wake up in a less dramatic mood.
Happy Election Night!
(Hope you all voted!)