You Can’t Withhold Bagels. This is Boca Raton.

I’m back on my racist diet, so today after getting my IV–All I really wanted was matzo ball soup and two plain bagels. So I called a local deli that I usually get that from and asked if I could get it take-out. I had maybe an hour in between my IV and my scheduled work for the Rare Project so I ordered and grabbed my purse to head out the door.

As I was leaving, I got a call back from the restaurant with the most bizarre news. They were no longer selling bagels take-out.

“What.” I said, because that wasn’t even a question.

“Well, my boss says we’re only serving the bagels in-restaurant now. We can’t offer them for take out.”

Who were these horrible people? Why were they holding my bagels hostage from me?

“What are you talking about? You’re a deli. How can you not offer me bagels?” I asked, giving R.J–who had the day off of work–eyes of extreme disappointment.

“You can still pick up the soup, we just can’t give you the bagels.”

“Look,” I said, my stomach growling, “You may just want to tell your boss that he’s about to lose an order if I can’t pick up my bagels.”

“Okay, Miss. One second.”

He put me on hold.

“What is this?” I said to R.J, “They’re a deli. A deli. You don’t withhold bagels at a deli.”

“Miss?” The guy had returned from his hold. “My boss says this time we can do it, but we can’t do it next time. It’s a new policy.”

“Fine, I’m coming to get my bagels, okay?”





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