Planning a Wedding With Chronic Illness: Post #1 of 10,000

Throughout the next year I’m sure you’ll start to see plenty of posts and pictures from me about planning my wedding. I’m sure you read all about our crazy engagement and amazing engagement party. Now it’s time to pull out the big guns. Matrimony and all.


So here’s where we are so far: We have looked at three locations. We liked one. We’ve done basically nothing else.

We have, however, made some decisions about how we want to organize the day. My biggest concern is not how the cake might taste, or how I might fall on my face on the way down the aisle–but how I will recuperate between the rehearsal dinner, the ceremony and the reception.

Because, from what I understand, most brides are equipped with some super-human battery pack that allows them to deal with weeks of stress and planning, corsets, possibly starving for a week prior to the event to look as thin as possible, drinking themselves under the table at their bacheloret party, classing it up at the rehearsal dinner, waking up at the ass crack of dawn to start prepping for the ceremony and then finishing up the night with six hours of cocktails and dancing.

So my question, of course, is…when is my napping window?

So I’ve made the executive decision that we need to space this shit out as much as possible in one day. So we’re going to have an early morning ceremony, followed by a night ceremony starting close to 7:30ish.

I’m also putting reception venues at hotels high up on my list, because having a room at the hotel will allow me to stay as late as I possibly can before I have to be carried upstairs. I can also take pit stops in the room if I need a micro nap …or to puke or something.


These maybe aren’t the most romantic visions of my wedding day, but that’s the reality.

I have big dreams for my big day–just like any other girl would. I want to feel beautiful and look beautiful and drink champagne and dance all night. And for me–that feeling good thing is going to take more energy to plan than all other aspects of the wedding combined. Feeling awake and present and comfortable on that day means more to me than the dress, the shoes, the hair, the venue, the food, the music, the centerpieces–it takes the cake.


Don’t get the wrong idea. I’m not in such a tornado of panic about napping on my big day that it’s zapping all the fun out of my life. Because I can’t even tell you the level of enthusiasm that pumps through my veins when I see a cap-sleeve, this is just one relevant detail in a day otherwise filled with joy and celebration.

With that being said, as I begin to Pinterest my life away and decide whether I’m more of a cowboy boots or high heels kind of bride–I’d be willing to take some comment-advice from any chronically-fatigued, ill, or hell–even just the lazy brides. How did you survive the marathon of your wedding?





28 thoughts on “Planning a Wedding With Chronic Illness: Post #1 of 10,000

  1. Lizz B.

    On my wedding day, I was living with fibro, asthma, and allergies. I’d gotten diagnosed the January before my June wedding, but had been living with it for almost a year prior. I didn’t do the best job managing things, but I think I have some good tips hidden in the chaos. We DIYed a lot of it, and having more help (letting myself ask for it) would have kept me from having to finish things at 10pm the night before my 9am wedding (and in my apartment an hour and a half from the venue). The one thing I wouldn’t budge on was comfy shoes. I’d just recovered from horrendous plantar fasciitis (the podiatrist was shocked). I was already used to wearing a corset because I wear one to RenFest. Unfortunately, I gained 20 pounds after my final fitting and almost couldn’t zip my dress (huge bruises)… so a laced back would be good if your weight fluctuates when stressed. /one thing /i wouldn’t have been able to do without was the fantastic day of coordinator provided by the venue. She made it so there was NO stress on the day and I was able to enjoy. Good luck, and a website called Offbeat Bride has a great article about this!

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