So I’m in marketing, right? I read Peter Shankman’s fabulous book, “Can We Do That?” I’ve come up with some pretty racy campaigns myself. So it shouldn’t surprise me when a car dealership sends me a flyer about something that looks like a legitimately personal letter, but it isn’t.
But back up. Let’s just say here, just for a minute, that you’re some kind of Edward Snowden type or an abused, escaped housewives and you get a letter in the mail in a plain white envelope with your name and address on it. No return address, no identifying features.
Get’s your heart pumping a little bit, right? You start thinking: shit, who is this from? Is this a handwritten letter? Must be important because it’s in snail mail and no one uses snail mail for personal hand written letters–it must be something official. Like a legal notice. Or maybe from someone I’ve blocked from all electronic channels for a good reason….
You open it up and you see this….
A sticky note? Telling you to check out a newspaper clipping by someone named “A”–very a’la Pretty Little Liars. You begin to sweat. Maybe it’s an obituary clipping of a loved one, or murder coverage. You begin to shake the envelope–is there anthrax in here?
You unfold the newspaper clipping and…
A fucking car dealership?
I’m being stalked and sent creepy letters from a car dealership?
Aw fuck you, now I feel stupid and not even a little bit special. This is like when someone pulls into your driveway only to turn around.